First Session in Couples Counselling – What to Expect (UK Guide)

An article by Anna Keyter Photo by Gustavo Fring

Today, we discuss the first session in couples counselling and what to expect. The first session in couples counselling can be a daunting prospect, a significant move towards rekindling a lost connection. Many couples in the UK experience apprehension before their first session. What will the therapist ask? Will it be uncomfortable? The reality is, the initial meeting is structured to be a safe space, free from judgment, and filled with potential. Here’s a straightforward, reassuring overview, drawing on established UK practices, including the British Psychological Society’s common practices.

Why is the First Session in couples counselling Important?

The first session isn’t about immediately tackling deep-seated issues or attempting to resolve everything. It’s primarily an introduction: a chance to meet the therapist, for them to understand both of you, and to establish a basis of trust. Studies indicate that feeling heard and understood early on significantly increases the likelihood of successful therapy; couples frequently report a greater sense of hope after just one session.

How to Prepare

Take a moment, or a few, to think about why you’re here. Are you considering that first session in couples counselling? What led you to this point? Perhaps it’s been a series of arguments, a growing distance, or significant life shifts like a new job or the arrival of a child. What are you hoping to accomplish? Better communication? A deeper connection? A clearer understanding of what’s ahead? Do you have any specific concerns? Maybe you’re worried about being blamed, or about confidentiality. Many therapists will provide a brief intake form or suggest a quick phone call before your first session. It’s helpful to write down some key points about your relationship history: how you met, what you appreciate about each other, and any recent events that have been difficult. Be open and honest; there’s no “correct” response. If one partner is more reserved, that’s perfectly normal; the therapist will ensure both perspectives are heard.

What to Expect During Your First Session in Couples Counselling

The first session in couples counselling is only the initial step. Sessions typically run for 50 to 60 minutes, conducted online through secure Zoom (fully GDPR-compliant) or in person. The therapist begins by introducing themselves: their credentials, therapeutic approach (such as Emotionally Focused Therapy or the Gottman Method), and how they work with couples. They’ll also cover confidentiality (information is shared unless there’s a risk of harm), the session’s structure, and the fees involved. You’ll then have the opportunity to share your story as a couple—no interruptions, no taking sides. Be prepared for questions like: What’s the primary issue you’re facing right now? When did things start to feel off? How do each of you perceive the relationship? Are there any family histories or past patterns that might be influencing the present? The focus remains exploratory, aiming to identify goals, strengths, and patterns without assigning blame. Common misconceptions are gently addressed (for example, “It’s not about one person being ‘wrong’—it’s a collaborative process”). If emotions become intense, the therapist will help manage them safely.

Online vs In-Person: UK Advantages

How does the first session in couples counselling compare online vs in person? Online therapy has surged in popularity—perfect for busy schedules, different locations, or initial nerves. Online counselling is also cost-effective. UK platforms ensure privacy and flexibility, with many psychologists offering nationwide access. In-person adds a personal touch if preferred. At Best Online Therapy, we do not offer in-person therapy.

Common Feelings and What Comes Next

It’s normal to feel vulnerable during your first session in couples counselling, relieved, or even a bit raw afterwards. Most couples leave with A clearer understanding of each other’s perspectives. Initial goals and a plan (e.g., weekly sessions, simple homework like daily check-ins). A sense of whether the therapist feels like a good fit—if not, switching is okay. Progress often shows in small ways early on—better listening, less escalation. Studies indicate many couples notice improvements in communication within 6–8 sessions.

If you’re ready to book your first session in couples counselling, a supportive UK therapist can guide you gently. If you want to learn more about the therapy modalities we use, have a look at the sidebar. You can find out about specific therapies we offer, such as Gestalt Psychotherapy and more.

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References

Dargie, Emma. (2020) Attachment Theory in Practice: Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT) with Individuals, Couples, and Families: by S. M. Johnson, New York: Guilford, 2019, 278 pages.

BPS: Social Therapeutic Coaching: A Practical Guide to Group and Couples Work

Estimated reading time: 5 minutes

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